Week 2 Recap

Specialists (108) defeat Emerald City Chimps (88)
Rolling Rock Wild Things (90) defeat Bloodthirsty Scalping Savages (89)
Bay City Steamrollers (68) defeat Richmond Sluts (57)
Ocean Beach Surf Riders (124) defeat Rolling Blackouts (65)
Joe’s Mothertuckers (96) defeat Arcadia Bobcats (65)
Mission Manhandlers (88) defeat Chicago Long Horned Beatles (87)

The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat! Two games decided by 1 point apiece – one of which came down to the very last Eagles defensive play on Monday Night! We’ll start with those games.

With Bill’s Long Horned Beatles leading 89-88, Daunte Culpepper had no business throwing the ball at the end of regulation when his team was down by 11. Inexplicably, however, on 2nd and 11 with less than 1:11 left to play, Culpepper threw the cruelest of passes. It landed in the hands of Philly’s Ike Reese, and what was a 1 point victory turned into a 1 point defeat. Kanako 88, Bill 87. Oh cruel fate!

Mr. Fred was also able to sliver his way through a 1 point splinter. His Rolling Rock Wild Things won 90-89 over the formidable Kevin Savage. The play that cemented his victory was McNabb’s 45 yard strike to Terrell Owens right at the start of the Fourth Quarter. I don’t know if you were watching, but the replay of that catch made me think that TO was still trying to get control of that ball as he was falling out of bounds. I think that if the play was challenged, Mr. Fred might be drowning his sorrows right now with some magically fermented hops.

What can be said about Duke beating the Commish in week 2? Well, year 1 I beat him, last year we tied, so this year it seemed only right that he would emerge victorious. Duke’s Specialists had the 2nd highest point total of the week (108), and the Chimps remain deflated and winless after posting 88 points. My running back woes continue, as Quentin Griffin couldn’t replicate his week 1 success and Clinton Portis had trouble holding onto the football. To make matters worse, free agent pick-up Deshaun Foster rumbled to to 26 points on 174 yards rushing (still wouldn’t have been enough for me to win – so I’m ok with it). As of this writing, Duke still hasn’t paid his entry fee.

Glen’s Surf Riders continue their Fantasy Dominance. They have made themselves the New England Patriots of the Montana Mile League. He scores a week high of 124 points. 75% of his starting lineup scored in double figures, led by 30 points from the AGELESS Curtis Martin! The man is on fire. Will he burn out before the season ends? Can those old and tired legs withstand an entire season of bruising punishment? Only time will tell. For now, however, Glen has the right to talk as much smack as he can muster. Luckily for the rest of us he is a humble man, a man of modest means, and a man who lets his teams performance on the field do all the talking for him week in and week out. High five to Glen again.

Sei gets the weekly Winona for this week. Last week it was Bill for not starting Todd Heap, this week I give it to Sei because he won his game with a point total of 68. None of his players were truly horrific (well, Boo Williams had a 0, but that can happen at the TE position – especially when the NO running game was non-existant after the Deuce got injured) – but none were spectacular either. The Steamrollers will have to address their problems at the running back position in order to solidify a shaky roster. If anyone can do it, Sei is the person for the job.

Peter Bobcat starts the season 0-2 with a dismal 65 point performance against the lethal Mothertuckers. The defeat is all the more painful given that Kelen Winslow Jr. is out for 8 weeks with a broken fibula. Woe is Pete! Joe’s 2 headed RB monster of Thomas Jones and Ladanian Tomlinson rumbled to 39 points as his team almost cracked the century mark.

Player of the week: Curtis Martin (Ocean Beach Surf Riders) – 119 yards rushing, 2 rush td’s, 6 receptions for 25 yards = 30 points. This is back to back for Cujo and Moi.

Disappointing Player of the week: Trent Green (Rolling Blackouts) – 187 yards passing, 1 INT, 0 TD, 15 yards rushing, 1 fumble lost = 0 points. This is back to back for Trent and Ron – except this week Ron lost the game. Not good for a first round pick to have a total of 2 points over 2 weeks.

Benched Player of the week: Deshaun Foster (Emerald City Chimps) – 174 yards rushing, 1 rush TD = 26 points. This is back to back for Commish Lee. No love from the RB stable of the Chimps. Maybe it’s time I traded some of these studs?

Biggest Injury of the week: Deuce McCallister (Richmond Sluts) – “An MRI revealed a partial tear of the tibio-fibular ligament, which is the ligament on the top of the ankle where the shin bone connects to the ankle joint. He is out four to fix weeks.” OUCH. This is back to back for Melissa. Deuce joins Steve Smith on the injured list. Tough love man.

Lowlight of the week: I refuse to add insult to injury. So while Melissa’s team could only score 57 points this week, the lowlight has got to be any team that loses to Duke. The Chimps are the lowlight of the week. They have the 6th highest points scored (171) but no victories to show for it. Those match-ups are killing the Chimps! To quote Charlton Heston, “Damn it all, damn it all to HELL!!!!” Chimps also have the most points against at 211.

Nominees for COTW this week:
Scott – For losing to Duke
Kevin – Lost by 1 point, benched Koren Robinson (13 points) in favor of Peerless Price (2 points).
Bill – For losing on the last minute INT (meaningless) by Culpepper
Melissa – low score of 57 points
Pete – 65 points and no wins to show for all his bravado
Ron – He almost got doubled up by those magnificent surf riders (124-65)

Here’s hoping for more drama in week 3! Comment away….