Kevin's Draft Recap

I overslept and missed the Schoewe Open Draft. Initially I tried logging on, but stupid AOL doesn’t save my messages, and seeing as how I forgot the league id…well, it all just seemed like a whole lot of trouble.

But now, around 9:00 CST they should be somewhere in the fifth round and if I know Matt, he’s greedily eyeing the stalwart Buffalo Defense…several rounds too early.

But I digress.

Knowing the onerous burden resting on the broad shoulders (well, shoulders anyway) of our commissioners, I have graciously volunteered to deviate from my otherwise hectic schedule of power-napping, beer-guzzling, and Laguna-Beach-watching and write a little recap of this year’s draft.

First, I thought I’d share some perceptions on the upcoming season.


Teams to Watch:


Will the Fair of Vanity continue in Philly? If bitterness, palpable animosity, driveway media conferences, and unfettered hubris continue to produce 131 yards and a first-possession touchdown, the feud between T.O. and McNabb will be nothing more than a curious, if bemusing, asterisk on a championship season. Their bickering certainly didn’t hurt either of them in our draft…but more on that later.

The Vikings without their loudmouth superstar? Yes, we all know Randy “Cheech” Moss has emigrated to a land of silver and black, a franchise whose reputation is perhaps even better suited to his jackass personality. What will this spell for Oakland? For Minnesota? And especially, for Kerry Collins? (I drafted him). I’m thinking Minnesota’s D will be a smart sleeper pick this season (pretty proud of yourself, aren’t you, Matthew?), and Burleson will become a fantastic receiver.




Teams to Avoid:

Not since Ricky took the Weed Wagon “rolling” around the world has anything been right in Miami. The perpetually quizzical and predominantly tan Dave Wannstedt has ventured unto other pastures, and former LSU coach Saban is busy whipping his dead horse…um, team…into shape, thanking God he left the Bayou State just before the “The Big One” hit, and surfaced in a cozier and safer hurricane-free locale like Miami (uh-oh). But will he inspire his players? Will his prowess at the collegiate level translate into NFL success, or is he destined to be another Steve Spurrier? And then consider J.P. Losman. Who is he, anyway? And why is he so damn fascinating?

San Fran. Oh, dear. The shredded remnants of this once-proud franchise are barely worth a mention in the esteemed annals of this exemplary blog. Led by Kevan “Rat Bastard” Barlow, some guy at QB, the New Mormon Kid at QB who Sucks, a porous defense, and well, that’s enough, isn’t it? In a scant few years, the Niners organization has rapidly devolved to a shadow of its former glory. I make a point to avoid all Niners. Completely.


Some Thoughts For Those Who Have Saints Players:

The Saints (and Deuce in particular) have always been tremendous underachievers—considering the dire happenings in the country these days, I don’t see them breaking out of their slump. I think it’s pretty obvious that the tragic circumstances of Katrina and the Waves turning the Big Easy into a post-apocalyptic nightmare will necessarily trickle down to the comparatively banal world of professional sports. Relocating the team, dealing with logistical issues (transportation, accessibility, security, etc.), worrying about their friends and families—we all know these things are trivial compared to the magnitude of the suffering currently scourging New Orleans and it goes without saying that the heart of this humble writer goes out to all involved. But this is a football blog and so, from a practical, objective standpoint purely focused on issues relating to football, I think the severity of off-the-field issues confronting the team, coupled with the obstacles of relocation, will be noticeably deleterious to the team’s production. In short, methinks a bleak year for the Saints…




Other points to consider.

What’s happening to Monday Night Football, anyway? Is it just me, or has the program deteriorated drastically over the past few years? Tragic, that one day I might sit on my rooftop deck, stare defiantly at the setting sun, and plead with the Heavens for a return to the halcyon days of Dennis Miller. Well, not really. But I have been on my rooftop deck.

Uh, once.

Another question (one of those “tree in the woods” kinda things):

If John Madden shifts his prodigious girth, mumbles incoherently through a mouthful of moonshine and turkey gravy about “this guy here,” and doodles spastically on the screen, and no one bothers to watch it on TV…does Monday Night Football still exist?

Anyway, back to the matter at hand. I’d like to lament the loss of teams (and people) I really never knew, and welcome back a prodigal son.

1.) Sluts, I hardly knew ye. Ok, I’m lying. Although this is only my third year in the league, the Sluts were a common fixture I enjoyed seeing week in (and out). Multiple times. Although each encounter ended too fast (some might say prematurely), and I didn’t always come out on top, I nevertheless felt sated, knowing I had performed to the best of my nominal abilities. I feel a haunting loss at their absence, but my mood is buoyed by a wallet that, strangely, seems to be fuller, and a coincidentally resurgent sense of self-respect. Though ownership remains the same, “Ingleside Insitgators,” just doesn’t have that ring to it. You will be missed.

2.) I won’t delve too deeply into the Specialist “incident” last year. Suffice to say, the Du—er, elephant in the room has been acknowledged, and may be ignored without any sense of discomfort.

3.) Finally, I’d like to extend a warm welcome to Matt Schoewe’s Juggernauts. For the record, I’ve especially enjoyed all his recent trash-talking. It’s comforting to know that he still retains passion for a league he considered beneath him merely one calendar year ago…

But back to the matter at hand. The Draft.

Ah…where to begin? Weird and wonderful things happened in the draft this year…and some downright puzzling moves.

I see the dreaded Auto-draft has reared its vicious head yet again. I dimly remember two years ago: picture a young man who looked…well, like I would look two years ago. A summer party, a night of carousing and imbibing Milwaukee’s Best until six in the morning (cue music…something retro, early 2000’s). Waking up in a stupor, jackhammers in the brain, finally arriving at a relative’s computer, thrusting crying children and squeaky toys aside. I tried to ignore the bustling, braying family behind me and finally managed to log on to our draft room triumphantly, just in time to see my latest pick, courtesy of the Auto-draft: Mr. Chad Pennington. Tragically, the lad had just fractured…something (an arm, a leg, my poor, fragile hopes) and was out for the majority of the season.

I feel your pain, Steamrollers. I feel your pain.

Now, the recap.


Round 1:

Best Pick: #8, The Savages. Well. I understand humility is a virtue, but you can’t spell modesty without “m-e.” So grabbing Edge at number eight looked awfully good. In all honesty, I never expected to see the loveable, gold-tooth-sporting mongoloid fall so far. Most fantasy football research I consulted had him going in the top five, so I feel like I lucked out.

Most Questionable Pick: #7, Steamrollers. Donovan McNabb. Auto-draft, right? How ‘bout Culpepper at #6, to the Rolling Blackouts? Was that Auto-draft, too? Because that’s the same spot he went last year…and he had Randy Moss. And passing touchdowns were six points apiece.

Hooch Swillin’ Skunkweed Smokin’ Pick: #11, Randy Moss. Mission Manhandlers. Echo…echo…echo…

Round 2:

Some oddness ensured here. This league loves its positional runs and I, for one, refuse to partake, perhaps to my own detriment (Kevin Jones, don’t let me down, damn you!).

So rather than debate the wisdom of pursuing wide receivers versus running backs, I’ll just share some quick observations. I found it interesting that T.O. was next to go, despite the controversy (albeit after a great preseason performance against the Bengals). I’m not sure at #21 (Surf Riders) I would’ve chosen Hines Ward with Johnson, Johnson, and Johnson still on the board.

And shall we pause a moment to lament the sad fate of Ahman Green…once a fantasy stud who rushed for over 1800 yards, then failed me miserably last year? Ah, Ahman. Perhaps you should’ve focused more on keeping your hands on the football…and only the football. Fewer fumbles, less domestic violence charges (he did go to Nebraska after all). On the other hand, if he rebounds more smoothly than his wife off a concrete floor, this may be quite a steal for the Beatles (#22), who I think were (or were not) Auto-drafting.

Round 3:


Best Pick:

I’ve gotta admire the Blackouts (or the Auto-draft) for grabbing Tiki Barber at #30. Frankly, I’m a little surprised he fell so far. Yes, I know he’s old, rickety, seems to have too many teeth, and a twin named Ronde (I’m not sure what that means). But the man had 1500 yards last season. And 1200 the year before. And 1300 before that. And those are just the rushing yards. He does fumble, and his touchdown total last year (15!) seems a bit of an anomaly. But I’ve seen him ranked in the top-ten on running back lists in multiple publications. First round? Nah. Second round? Hmm. Third round? Oh yeah.

And then there are the Mother Tuckers, whose selection of Javon Walker at #26 fortified a team with an already marvelous running game (Alexander and R.Johnson). Nice move. And a formidable team…but they will make mistakes in later rounds.


Most Questionable Pick:

Ronnie Brown, #25. Look, if the guy explodes this year, Pete’ll look like a genius. Of course, Ronnie doesn’t have a proven quarterback on his team (for that matter, neither does Pete). Ronnie also has a suspect offensive line. Miami’s Offensive Line coach, Hudson Houck (not made up...no, really, that’s his name) recently described Miami’s O-Line as “an ongoing process” who “might start really playing better next year.”

Best of luck, evil genius…

Hooch Swillin’ Skunkweed Smokin’ Pick: Not much craziness going on here. I actually like the Steven Jackson pick (MM) at #35, though some might not. Martz has always been weird about not running the ball like he should (see: Super Bowl loss, beginning of Pats dynasty), but you’d think by now he’d realize you have to. Right?

I said,” right”?


Round 4:


Best Pick:

Tony Gonzales (#38), MM’s. Once the elite receivers are gone, make a grab for a receiver in sheep’s…er, tight end’s clothing. Whatever. Just take Tony G.

Most Questionable Pick: Surf Riders, Tatum Bell (#45). It was well established that Mike Anderson will be the starter this season. Tatum’s looked awful running the ball so far this year, but he throws a mean curveball, and his acid-tongued witticisms are just the thing to keep a crotchety, half-soused Walter Matthau in check. Never mind. Look, he may very well take over for Anderson at some point…but why spend your Fourth Round pick on a backup?

Hooch Swillin’ Skunkweed Smokin’ Pick: I hate to do it to ya, Boss…but Ronnie Brown AND J.J. Arrington? Huh? Rolling the dice on a rookie is fine, but twice? In the 3rd and 4th rounds?

Somewhere, the ghost of Lord Voldemort is weeping…


Round 5:

Best Pick: Bay City Steamrollers, Warrick Dunn, #55. Not bad for an Auto-draft. This mighty-mite might (ha! that’s fun to say) lose some carries to the Brobignagian Bulk of T.J. Duckett (not nearly as fun), but he can put up the yards (over 1100 yards and 9 TDs last year). Pretty good value this late, especially for a team thin at RB.

Most Questionable Pick: TIE Rolling Blackouts (#54) Bills D, RRWT (#58) Michael Bennett.

OK, simple rules of fantasy drafting. Never take a defense in Round 5. Defenses can wait. And never take Michael Bennett in any round. He will be injured. Tomorrow.

Hooch Swillin’ Skunkweed Smokin’ Pick: Chimps. Fred Taylor (#57). Yes, I know he was once a top-twenty RB, and there might be value here…but then again, Pete might give me a raise soon, too. Fragile Freddie’s always a risk, whatever the round. Of course, if he stays healthy, this pick could be fantastic…that’s the beauty of the “Hooch Swillin’ Skunkweed Smokin’” category.



Round 6:

Best Pick: Chimps, Vick (#64). The guy’s definitely been something of a letdown over the past couple seasons (broken leg, forgot how to throw the ball, things like that)…but someone with that much physical talent falls this far, you’ve gotta grab him.

Something that Struck Me…Not Bad or Good: I don’t want to pick on Pete, seeing as how I need a paycheck to subsidize my placebo addiction, but I’m curious as to his motives in choosing Drew Brees over Jake Plummer and Aaron Brooks. I know interceptions are a concern…and Brees did account for more total TDs than the other two (but fewer yards). But personally, I’d rather know what I’m getting, and Brooks and Plummer, while not elite, are more proven. I just think I’d be wary of going near a guy who has had a single good season, especially since the Charges gave Phillip Rivers a boatload of money to be their man.

Those concerns aside, I think the Truly Most Questionable Pick For This Round 6 goes to: Ocean Beach Surf Riders, Dallas Clark (#69). I think he’s a nice sleeper pick, but to pick him over Heap (who’s going to throw to Heap, though, I don’t know), Shockey, and Crumpler (who else is Vick going to toss to?) seems a bit, well…wrong.


Hooch Swillin’ Skunkweed Smokin’ Pick: Beatles, Bears D (#70). Huh? I thought you were on Auto-draft?

Round 7:


Not much jumps out at me here. The Beatles picked another QB. The ‘Nauts finally picked a QB. It’s not a bad round to pick up Jerome “Get on the Bus” Bettis (RRWT)…but we’ll see how long that calf injury of his lingers. There’s still some decent Wide Receiver talent to be had (Jimmy Smith, Isaac Bruce), proving once again that once there’s a drop off from the “premier” class, there’s not much difference among the middle-tiers, breakout-years aside.



Round 8:

Not many questionable picks here…mostly just teams grabbing for whatever talent they can find.

Best Pick: Matt “I Was Too Good For You Guys Last Year” Schoewe’s Juggernauts, Mike Anderson (#92). The man is starting in Denver, and we all know how Mike Shannahan loves to manufacture running backs from third-stringers, guys off the street, his wife’s unemployed brother…you name it. And we also know Anderson was a successful RB in Denver before. Who knows how long he’ll be starting, but picking him up in the 8th was a good move on Matt’s part.

Bastard.


So…to the grades.




A Quick Note on the Grades:

I’ve noticed our humble Commish was awfully generous with the marks in years past (no grade lower than a C that I’ve been able to find in my limited experience with the league). Rather than piss off everyone (well, everyone I already haven’t), I think I’ll do my own scaling system, slightly harsher, but more colorful.


Arcadia Bobcats:

Well, I’m not a fan of D.Brees at starting QB, backed up by Eli “It looks like a Peyton, talks like a Peyton, but it ain’t a Peyton” Manning. And we know their RB core may be talented at the collegiate level, but I think someone failed to inform our illustrious, evil genius of a co-commissioner that this is not a keeper league.

Team: (QB) Drew Brees, Eli Manning, (RB) L.T., Ronnie Brown, Ricky Williams, J.J Arrington, J. Chatman, (WR)C. Johnson, A. Lelie, L. Evans, B. Edwards, M. Williams, “Token Joe” Jurevicius, (TE) D. Graham, (K) “Nuge”, Chargers Defense.

Grade: Somewhat Sucks (however, if the kids grow up real fast, could steadily become, “Doesn’t Suck, Mostly Rules”)



Bay City Steamrollers:

Team: (QB) B. Griese, D. McNabb, (RB) C. Martin, W. Dunn, D. Blaylock, M. Faulk, T. Henry, (WR) D. Givens, D. Jackson, B. Stokley, Marvin, J. Smith, (TE) D. Jolley, R. McMichael, (K) S. Janikowski, Ravens D.

Actually, although the Autodraft wasn’t kind, it wasn’t insanely cruel either (see: Beatles). You can’t go wrong with Mt. Carmel’s own Donny McNabb as your starting QB. And Starvin’ Marvin is always good for sweet numbers, even if Reggie Wayne is lighting it up. With D.Jackson at your number two wide-out and a Baltimore D, there are some significant pieces in place. But at Running Back…ouch. The wrinkles! The arthritis! Oh My! C. Martin was a surprise last year…many were astounded that he cheated Mother Nature (and Shaun Alexander) to an NFC rushing title and 12 touchdowns. I didn’t even know he was still alive. But I’m not so sure he can repeat a performance like that. He’ll get you a thousand-plus yards…he’s done that every year since the mid-90’s. But his TD output will be down, especially of Chad P. manages to refrain from his annual fracturing of limbs. Warrick Dunn’s a good number 2 back (and often overlooked, poor little guy), especially for where he fell, but Travis Henry is useless. Between his injuries and Brown’s share of the carries, I don’t see him having a very productive year.

Grade: Somewhat Sucks (I know you’re working on trading. I remember those days well)


Bloodthirsty Scalping Savages:


Team: (QB) K. Collins, J. Delhomme, (RB) Edge, K. Jones, Lamont Jordan, (WR) M. Jenkins, Terry Glenn, E. Kennison, A. Boldin, I. Bruce, Steve Smith, C. Rogers, T. Calico, (TE) Wiggs’, (K) S. Graham, Panthers D.

Well, I like my guys at RB. Edge is always good for a bundle o’ yards, even with Peyton rewriting the record books. I’ve seen plenty of drafts where Kevin Jones went in the first round, so having him and Lamont Jordan makes my life a little easier. I think Kerry’s going to have a good year throwing to Moss, but I’m a little worried about my receivers. I’ve got a fair amount of mid-tier guys, but I lack an elite producer…and that bothers me.

Final Grade: Doesn’t Suck, Doesn’t Rule


Chicago Long-Horned Beatles:

Six quarterbacks, including Kyle Boller, Patrick Ramsey, Joey Harrington and…dear God, Rex Grossman? Also a possible Auto-draft mishap. ‘Nuff said.

Final Grade: Mostly Sucks. However, there is enough trade bait on the QB position to easily elevate this team. Obviously, Manning is a keeper…I would go for the gusto and trade Brooks (I know, then you’re stuck with Joey, but you’ve got to give to get) along with a player at another position, possibly even a D, and the team could improve dramatically. Just my two cents, which probably aren’t even worth…well, two cents.


Emerald City Chimps:

Team: (QB) C. Pennington, M. Vick, “Mistah Kurt, He Dead” Warner, (RB) Deuce Mc, M. Moore, W. Green, F. Taylor, Cadillac, (WR) Nate Burleson, Santana “You Better Change Your Poor-Ass Playin’ Ways” Moss, K. Colbert, D. Mason, Holt, (TE) T. Heap, (K) J. Wilkins, Broncos (huh?) D.

I’m trying to decide if there’s a good quarterback in there somewhere. I’ve had Pennington on my team the last couple of years, and he’s proved frustrating. I know other owners can attest to similar sentiments about Vick. Definitely a lot of talent, but a lot of potential disappointment in all three QB’s. Commish actually has a fascinating assortment of RB’s. Deuce can be great, or really disappointing (plus, consider my earlier note on the “Katrina Factor”). Moore’s a solid gamble to replace the sissy Bennett. Green may start, too. Taylor…eh. But as of yet, there’s no reliable second-RB. All of them are “if’s”. If Freddie stays healthy, if Bennett gets hurt and Moore takes over, if Green starts all season, if Cadillac has a sweet rookie year, etc. I do, however, feel Nate Burleson’s in for a big-time year. Someone’s gotta fill the void. Or try. And if you have Torry Holt on top of that? Nice job. Not a fan of your Defense, though. I tend to stay away from Defenses in the AFC West. The division now sports some of the top offensive players in the NFL: Moss, L.T., Trent Green, Priest Holmes, etc. And that means they’ll play each of them twice. Ugh.

Final Grade: Doesn’t Suck, Doesn’t Rule



Ingleside Instigators:

Team: (QB) Brett Favre, Big Ben, (RB) Jamal “I Didn’t Drop the Soap” Lewis, D. Davis, L. Johnson, C. Taylor, M. Shipp, (WR) R. Wayne, Amani “It’s Not A…Yeah, We’ve Heard This One Before” Toomer, Randle El, R. Smith, D. Driver, (TE) Putzy, Shockey, (K) Vanderjagt, Pats D.

I like this team. Actually, it reminds me a bit of my team, but better. Solid QB’s (hopefully—and this is the Packer fan in me speaking—the preseason is not an indication of Favre’s performance). Nice Running Back core. Lewis is free now, and angry. D. Davis can run and catch the ball, and L. Johnson might be a fantastic steal if the sublime but brittle Priest goes down. With top guns at tight end, kicker, and D, the only real weakness is wide receiver. And it’s not bad. Well, not horrible. Will Wayne repeat his breakthrough performance? Will there be anyone to throw to Toomer? Is anyone even listening to me anymore?


Final Grade: Doesn’t Suck, Kinda Rules


Joe’s Mother Tuckers:

Team: (QB) Brady, Plummer, Bledsoe, (RB) Shaun “One Yard Short” Alexander, Rudi Rudi Johnson, K. “I screwed over my namesake last year” Barlow, (WR) Plexiglass, K. McCardell, Javon Walker, Mushin “Why did I sign with the Bears?” Muhammed, (TE) Witten, Pollard, (K) R. Longwell, J. Brown, Dolphins D, Jets D.

Interesting stuff here. Rock-solid at QB. RB, too, looks great. I think Alexander’s going to have a monster year. They’re using him more as a receiver in practice, and he plays against such pitiful run-defenses (San Fran, St. Louis, ‘Zona) twice a year, which he should tear through like a rabbit through fresh kale (or is it collards?). If he stays healthy and Holmgren doesn’t go weird, he might very well supplant L.T. as the consensus fantasy football pick. Yes, that’s a prediction.


Final Grade: Doesn’t Suck, Mostly Rules



Mission Manhandlers:

Team: (QB) Hasslebeck, Leftwich, (RB) Dillon, Droughns, Foster, Brown, Jackson (WR) A. Bryant, D. Patten, Joey “Where Have I Been?” Galloway, E. Moulds, Randy “Cheech” Moss, (TE) Tony G, (K) Carney, Skins D, Bucs D.

Like ‘em. What’s not to like? Hassy has yet to make that leap into the top five, but he’s not too shabby. Not much at receiver after Randy, though. I think Patten, Joey, and Bryant will be superfluous this season (yeah, I know Bryant’s number one on the Browns…but it’s the Browns, dammit!). But Tony G is a good thing. I think the Bucs D doesn’t have the luster it once did, and the Skins D isn’t great, but all in all, pretty balanced.

Final Grade: Doesn’t Suck, Kinda Rules


Ocean Beach Surf Riders:

Team: (QB) Bulger, McNair, (RB) Tatum “Paper Moon” Bell, A-Train, Priest, (WR) R. Williams (The Bad One), D. Branch, J. Porter, B. Lloyd, H. Ward, Kevin Curtis, (TE) B. Troupe, D. Clark, (K) David Akers, Eagles D, Jags D.

Glen, you’ve gotta deal one of those defenses. They’re both pretty good, and they might help you address some other holes. For starters, you only have one good running back. And if Priest goes down…hmmm. To be that unbalanced at RB, you need to be better at wide receiver. Ward has disappointed lately, and Big Ben has looked pretty poor this preseason, so be prepared. Porter’s hurt, but I do like both Kevin Curtis and Brandon Lloyd as interesting sleeper candidates. Still, my advice is simple: unload something. Go crazy. Not Matt Schoewe, election-conspiracy-theory-I-hate-Bush-and-his-kin-crazy, but crazy enough. In short, see me about a trade.


Final Grade:

Somewhat sucks, but by trading defenses and secondary players, could be improved.


Rolling Blackouts:

Team: (QB) Daunte, D. Carr, Orton, (RB) Portis, Barber, Benson, Gore, (WR) R. Williams (The Good One), C. Chambers, T.J. Houshmandzadeh, M. Bradley, (TE) H. Miller, E. Johnson, (K) D. Brien, Bills D, Falcons D.

Hmm. At QB, I think Culpepper will be fine. Not necessarily deserving of an early pick in the first round, but I think he’ll produce pretty well. I still have my concerns about Portis (which, for the record, I voiced on the MML blog one year ago, thank you very much). I respect the Gore pick because I despise Barlow since he let me down last year. Wide Receiver, though…not so good. I’ve always thought Chambers could be a great player, but those guys in Miami just scare me because their offense is so inept. And why keep two defenses that good? Or two tight ends? I know Johnson is hurt, but unless you’ve got the Big Two, it’s just not worth it.


Final Grade: Doesn’t suck, Doesn’t Rule.



Rolling Rock Wild Things:

Team: (QB) Trent Green, J.P. Losman, T. Rattay, (RB) Westbrook, Bus, Michael “I’m Screaming in Pain As We Speak” Bennett, Deuce Staley, (WR) T.O., M. Clayton, Donte Stallworth, G. Lewis, (TE) Crumpler, Bubba Franks, (K) J. Reed, Steelers D, Saints D.

What an odd team. Great starting QB, interesting backup choices. I guess you’re banking on one of the Field Generals from their respective God-awful teams rising from the mire of their pasts. At running back, so far you’re stuck starting Westbrook (who I’d like as a No. 2 player, but not as a No. 1…I know, I know…it’s Philly) with M. Bennett (who may be injured), since The Bus and Deuce are out with injuries of their own. That’s not fun. And why grab Bubba when you’ve got Crumpler? You’re giving up more useful talent at other positions. You’ve got some good stuff at WR, considering T.O. and Clayton are a lethal combination. But what’s with the Saint’s D? Completely unnecessary. Still, Green, Owens, Clayton, Westbrook, and the Steelers are enough to eke out some victory’s here and there.


Final Grade: Doesn’t Suck, Doesn’t Rule.


The Juggernauts: (QB) C. Palmer, (RB) Julius Jones, M. Anderson, “Whatchoo Talkin’ ‘Bout” Willis McGahee, Lee Suggs, (WR) M. Robinson, Andre Johnson, L. Coles, T. Taylor, Bobby Engram, J. McCairens, D. Bennett, T. Williamson, (TE) Gates, (K) A. Vinatieri, Vikings D.

This part pains me the most. I’ve been dreading this since I began writing. I hate to say it, but I think Matt has one of (if not the) most balanced team coming out of the draft. Quarterback appears to be his Achilles Heel, because it’s awfully risky to pin your hopes on Carson Palmer. On the other hand, if he has a breakout year, Matt’s team could be deadly. We all saw what McGahee could do last year. I also know for a fact that Matt screamed like a little girl when he claimed Willis on draft day. Julius Jones is looking more and more like he could have a breakout second-year. Johnson and Coles could be a fantastic combo. at wide receiver, and if Drew Bennett can replicate even a modicum of his numbers from last year…ouch. Then there’s Gates at Tight End. I personally feel like his numbers are going to drop off somewhat this year (not much, though) since people actually know who he is. Last year, no one had ever heard of him…including one Matt Schoewe:

The Blackouts and Wild Things also certainly show very good potential. But I'll admit that I don't even know who Antonio Gates is. But then, if you don't have Gonzo at TE, it doesn't really matter.

-“An Outsider’s Perspective, For What It’s Worth”
Montana Mile League Blog, August 2004

Strange, what can change in a year. And Matt picked him up in the other league, too.

Final Grade: Mostly Rules.


That’s All He Wrote:

Good luck to all this year! Thank you for plodding through my aimless, tedious, sophomoric, insulting ramblings. If I’ve offended you, I apologize. If not, your turn is coming soon.