Week One Observations from the desk of The Commish

Monday morning I was writing an e-mail to a fellow team that read, “I need Antonio Gates to catch at least 5 passes tonight and 1 touchdown, otherwise I’m toast”. Gates caught 2 passes, one for a touchdown. I lost by 3 points.

I got that sick Fantasy Football feeling over the weekend. As a result all of the games were not very much fun to watch because none of my players were scoring points.

I woke up last night at 4am. I couldn’t fall back asleep – what was on my mind? Losing my game in week one.

Yes . . . the season has officially begun and I’ve already got a not so fresh feeling about the outcome. Here are some stats from week 1:

A quick look at our draft reveals that the avg points scored for the first round picks was 11. 5 players came in under the average: Shaun Alexander (2), Peyton Manning (10), Cadillac Williams (7), LaMont Jordan (1), Clinton Portis (9)

The top scoring player from the first 3 rounds was Ladanian Tomlinson (20). I think it’s my duty to point out that Pete had offered to trade me the #3 slot for #11 and then he later changed his mind. He should be very thankful he did.

The top scoring players of the week were Donovan McNabb (round 5 pick), Frank Gore (round 6 pick) and Kurt Warner (round 7 pick) – each scored 23 points. And to those pundits who thought Bill was shooting his wad too early by selecting the Chicago DST in Round 6, they had 22 points.

Vindication is not so sweet – Melissa Slut got a lot of grief for picking Donte Stallworth in round 6. Donte proved a lot of people wrong by racking up 19 points. We’ll see if he can continue on this torrid pace for the duration of the season. I’m sure he’ll still have his skeptics (speaking as a former owner of Donte, I can sympathize – he was my kryptonite for 2 seasons). Anyway, even Donte’s performance couldn’t save the Sluts from losing by a scant few points – thanks a lot LaMont Jordan. Doesn’t LaMont sound like the name of a clothing store for Gerry’s? I bought my lavender handbag at LaMont’s during their Fall clearance sale!

The best lineup this week would have been:
Kurt Warner or McNabb (Slayers and Surf Riders) – QB = 23
Frank Gore (Bobcats) – RB = 23
Ladanian Tomlinson (Bobcats) – RB = 20
Laverneous Coles (Bobcats) – WR = 19
Donte Stallworth (Sluts) – WR = 19
Tony Gonzalez (Sluts) – TE = 19
Jeff Wilkins (Manhandlers) – K = 19
Bears (Beatles) – DST = 22
TOTAL: 164

The Arcadia Bobcats of Crocker Highlands (who I am now going to dub as the Gay Faggots of Queer Town) were the high scoring team of the week with 94 points (the nickname is a joke - don't take it seriously!).

Mr. Fred had the lucky match-up of the week, he only scored 68 points and still won. 68 was tied for 8th in terms of point rank.

Overall scoring is down across the board, but it’s only week one. I think the new DST scoring is a lot more forgiving and hopefully people are on board with it.