Weak 11 update

Bloodthirsty Scalping Savages 116 at SF Sluts 114
Melissa must be surcharged with bitterness after this defeat. She left 50 points on her bench. For some reason she felt compelled to start Antowain Smith (1 point) – his longest run was 5 yards. She left Domanick Davis (13 points) and TJ Duckett (9 points) sitting there picking their teeth with the splinters from their bums. For a second there I thought she was going to eek out a victory, she was only 5 points behind at half-time of the Monday Night game – but inexplicably, Favre and Driver only scored 3 points in the 2nd half. Atrabiliar!

Emerald City Chimps 65 at Rolling Blackouts 61
Ok – after Sunday I was CERTAIN of my own Chumpitude. After hearing on CBS that Fragile Fred was starting, I quickly swapped out Greg Jones for Fred Taylor. For a second there I thought about starting Cadillac Williams, but given his fumble-itis and poor scoring over the last 4 weeks, I decided to go with the Jags backfield. I also opted not to start the red hot Michael Vick – instead I went with the very cold Mark Brunell. I counted up the 100 points I would’ve had and I became surcharged with bitterness, altrabiliar. Ron had 60 points going into Monday Night and he had Brad Johnson leading his charge. Imagine my surprise when Ron still had 60 points after halftime. An interception and lost fumble later in the 2nd half, a touchdown scored on a running play, and what do you know? I had snatched victory out of the jaws of defeat after having snatched defeat out of the jaws of victory. Can you tell I’m running out of catch phrases? San Dimas High School Football Rules!

Bay City Steamrollers 71 at Mission Manhandlers 83
Sei lost by 12 points. Sam Gado scored 2 points – Lee Evans scored 6 points. On his bench he had Marion Barber (14 points) and R. Brown (12 points). Well, I guess I can’t fault him for starting Lee Evans, and even if he had tied Kanako he still would have lost by virtue of less bench points. At 3-8, Sei is pretty much eliminated from the playoffs this year. The mighty have fallen. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sei is surcharged with bitterness, atrabiliar. Amazingly Kanako won despite some very poor performances from her backfield. Stephen Davis had 0 points on 6 yards rushing and Stephen Jackson had 1 point from 3 receptions (lost 2 points on a fumble!). Chris Brown and Reuben Droughns both had 21 points each! What do they say about being lucky versus being good?

Ocean Beach Surf Riders 82 at Arcadia Bobcats 91
Now this game was something to behold. Combined points for all players on both teams was astounding! Bobcats = 162. Surf Riders = 171. That’s some craziness. Unfortunately for Glen (who I know is most of the time surcharged with bitterness, atrabiliar) he made a few poor coaching decisions and suffered the nagging claws of Peter. But I have to wonder why he started Heath Evans at RB. He had Mewelde Moore sitting on his bench with 13 points, Evans only had 5. Ok, so that would’ve out him 1 point behind – but he also started Deion Branch instead of red hot Jerry Porter. That was a 7 point mistake. That, my dear readers, is chumpworthy.

Chicago Long-Horned Beatles 93 at The Juggernauts 76
Juggs needs more support. Even a zero from Desmond Clark didn’t stop Bill’s Bears from winning handily. It helps that the Bears DST is unstoppable (I’m a believer now, since they actually played a pretty decent Carolina Panthers offense). Even 31 points from Mike Anderson wasn’t enough to get these Juggs out of traction. Of course -12 from the Bengals Defense also isn’t going to help your cause. Matt is SWB, A.

Joe's Mother Tuckers 102 at Rolling Rock Wild Things 69
I think Mr. Fred is down for the count. He released TO, now he starts Bettis at running back and gets a goose egg. It doesn’t help that Donte was on the bench with 21 points (he cannot be relied upon!) and Crumpler with 12 points. Mr. Fred is SWB, A.

Ok – I ran out of steam, but an update is better than no update. Or is it? You decide! C’mon people, I have a new job here, I just moved to another state, cut me some slack! I have become surcharged with bitterness, atrabiliar.