Week 4 - 2008 Recaps!

Sluts vs Tuckers

And then there were none. Not only did both undefeated teams (Surf Riders and Tuckers) lose this week, they had the lowest point totals of anyone. Kind’ve disappointing since if they’d both won, they would’ve met in Week 5 in a battle of the unbeatens.

The Tuckers put up a respectable 110, but they were overwhelmed by the Waves who led all teams w/154. The White Turds had a balanced attack w/8 players in double digits, led by a resurgent Larry Johnson w/37. The Tuckers were hampered by Ryan “I used to be good last year” Grant (1 pt) and Alge “Goldfish eat me for Breakfast” Crumpler (0 pts).

In fact, it’s pretty amazing to me that the Tuckers had won 3 games before this week. Their lineup is almost a who’s who of fantasy disappointments so far: Addai, Ryan Grant, Javon Walker, Roy “I’m Playing like a Middle-Aged White Basketball Coach” Williams, Tavaris and Kitna. My question is why is the Tuckers front office holding onto some of these players, like Tavaris Jackson. On the other side, the Sluts have managed to overcome the loss of Mr Bundchen, with solid play from the RB and WR positions. If they can get a little bit of traction at the QB spot, they could go wicked faahr.

Plenty o’ intriguing matchups this week. Besides the Almost Undefeated Bowl, there will be the House Divided Bowl (will Sei get Annihilated? Will Christine get Steamrolled?), the Toilet Bowl (winless Nellies and the lowest point total Gypsy Cats) and the S-Bowl (not super, just Sunny Slayers vs SF Sluts).

- Sei

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Scott's South Bay Slayers def. Good Ol' Nellie (149-137)

Unlike a certain team that was unable to break the century mark this week, neither the Slayers nor the Nelsons came down with a case of cantscoreadamnthingitis. The two interdivision foes produced a point fest for the ages (or at least Week 4). But despite a 3 TD, 104 yards, 34 point performance from Laveranues "Chad Who?" Coles, the beloved pooch of the Takeda-Van Cleave clan wasn't able to snatch a much needed W from the jaws of defeat and remove Team Takeda from the ranks of the winless. Who could have done this to poor ol' Nellie you ask? Look no further than Brett "I Still Got It" Favre, who threw for 6 TDs and 289 yards on his way to a whopping 43 points. On the receiving end of two of those TDs was Jerricho Cotchery (who chipped in 21 points), while LT rumbled for 106 yards, 2 TD, and 24 points. That was enough to secure a win for the Commish.

But look on the brighside Kan, you play Pete this coming week . . .

- Glen

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Ocean Beach Surf Riders 87, NSC Annihilators 124

How you say ... huzzah! The Annihilators romp to another victory, this time swamping the hapless surfriders. Even J.T. O'Sullivan contributed a junior varsity 10 points to the NSC tally, with Anquan Boldin and Jason Witten doing the heavy lifting.

Glen was stuck in the Pacifica fog. Tony Romo and Jamal Lewis did the yeoman's work in rounding up points, but bye week troubles led to a disconcerting number of goose eggs in the Surfrider's detailed score.

I know many people may be tempted to vote the Bobcats chump of the week again. But I ask you which is worse: forgetting to set your lineups because of a terrible car accident ... or being such a poor coach you don't account for the bye in your season's plans?

The question answers itself. Vote your conscience when you vote for COTW, and don't be swayed by any propaganda coming from the Ocean Beach camp.

- Peter Schoewe

Steamrollers defeat Bobcats (137-115)

OMG! This game was like, so bitchin’! Well, not really. I’ll cut Pete a little bit of slack, he did get into a auto accident on Saturday and was posed with the moral dilemma of having to deport an unlicensed illegal alien and deal with a wrecked motor car. That being said, I still believe his qualifications for COTW are still very much in play. Given his Saturday night quandary, Pete completely forgot about setting his line-up. The result? Well, he ended up starting 2 players on bye weeks (Maroney and Calvin Johnson). Had he set his line-up, would he have made up the 22 points he lost by? Let’s see….

Michael Bush – 16 points

Willis McGahee – 8 points

Pete would have probably started McGahee – so let’s say 8 points there. That leaves a deficit of 14 points. That brings us to his vacancy at WR….

Todd Heap – bye week

Santana Moss – 20 points

‘nuff said. Lost in the haze of auto insurance claims and sore necks, Pete did get a great performance out of Stephen Jackson (31) and David Garrard (26). Alas, a 6 point victory was stolen from his grasp upon being rear ended by a non-English speaking gentleman who didn’t even bother getting out of the front seat of his motorized carriage.

The Steamrollers felt redemption this week – after last week when Sei was “technically” ahead by virtue of a tie-breaker after the Monday night game, only to see the cruel gods of fate grant his opponent 3 points overnight by virtue of late reported first downs! Balance was the name of the game this week for his roster, 8 players in double digits, headlined by 24 from Adrian Peterson and 19 from DeSean Jackson. At 3-1 and with the most points in his division, this Steamroller is looking to squash every opponent who gets in his way.

And this picture warrants sharing:

Have you seen Scarlett’s new shoes? Well neither has she. Wakka wakka.

- Commish