Week 11 - 2008 Recaps!

Rollers Get Rolled by the Gypsy Cats

Surely the bottom-feeding Itinerant Felines at 3-7 couldn’t knock off the 8-2 Steamrollers who had won 5 in a row? Of course they could, and don’t call me Shirley. The Cats rode the wave that brought victory to every team in the Cripps Division and handed the Rollers their first loss in 6weeks.

The Rollers coaching staff has definitely had better weeks.

Fantasy axiom 1: You’re not going to win when your kicker is your highest scorer. Granted 14 from a kicker is pretty good, but not having anyone else do better is weak.

Fantasy axiom 2: You’re not going to win when your bench score more points than your starters. Basically this means that a chimp could’ve done better by picking players through a process of blindfolded feces flinging. Rumor has it this method will be employed to determine next weeks lineup.

The Wandering Lynxes put up a winning but uninspired performance, managing to put up 105 points, putting them 6th out of 8 teams. Their WR corp was their strength, putting up 16, 16 and 19, but the rest of their team bordered on the awful, highlighted by McGahee’s 1pt performance. Bottom line, good enough to win.

- Sei

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Slayers def. Nelsons (137-106)

Scott's gridiron gang secured an important W with the 2008 MML regular season quickly drawing to a close. LaDainian Tomlinson didn't have an especially spectacular game, but still managed 21 points thanks to 107 all-purpose yards, 6 first downs, and a TD. A pair of Jets has LT's back, as Brett Favre displayed some of his Hall-of-Fame form with a 258 yard, 2 TD performance and Thomas Jones rushed his way to 104 yards and a TD. While WR Chad Johnson was anything but "Ocho Cinco" in Week 11, Aaron Rodgers and Reggie Wayne picked up the slack, combining for 34 points, 2 TDs, and 317 yards.

The Slayer's 137 point output was enough to put the smackdown on the pooches from Vis Valley. WR Larry Fitzgerald paced Kan's gridiron gang, hauling in 151 yards, 8 first downs, and 23 points. Meanwhile Brandon Jacobs rumbled for 73 yards and 2 TDs on his way to collecting 24 points. Unfortunately the rest of the Nelsons could not match the duo's offensive output. Perrenial Takeda draft pick WR Randy Moss could barely muster 9 points, while Laveranues Coles and Owen Daniels just plain weren't trying hard enough. As for K John Carney, having a big fat goose egg in the stat column speaks volumes to his offensive prowess. Heck, the Nelsons' starting lineup managed to outscore the bench players by a mere two points. Which basically meant that the cellar of the Bloods Division was crowded for yet another week.

- Glen

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Ocean Beach Surf Riders 78 NSC Annihilators 144

When you pour a scotch over ice, it sometimes makes a fascinating pattern of swirling golden shapes, that you can enjoy if you hold the glass close to your eye and look at it intently. If you glance your fingers across a piano's keys, you will sometimes create a cacophonous noise that, though discordant, is a pleasing sound. If you consider the game I have been tasked to recap, you will find a similar comforting pattern as you cast your eyes across the list of the Surf Rider players' scores. They rise and fall minutely, like the noise of a gamelan orchestra. 9, 8, 7, 10, 7, 9, 7, 5, 3, 13. But then you will notice something odd. Why are these numbers so low? Wait, wait, you say. Let me look at the opponent, the silver phoenix we must now call the Annihilators. Here is something strange: 23, 2, 29, 23, 24, 5, 4, 14, 13, 7. Some of the numbers seem familiar, but many are of a much greater magnitude. You will find the key to mystery when you click the tab that says "Overall standings." There you find the silver phoenix proudly strutting atop the Cripps' mountain. Where are the Surfers you ask? They are at the bottom of the Bloods, and near their name we find the saddest, most bittersweet statistic of them all. It is simply "L6."

- Peter Schoewe

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Motu’s get off the snide at the expense of the Sluts (125 – 110)

The Joe Motu skid is over. His team had been leaving behind all sorts of skidmarks over the past 5 weeks or so. This week he must have asked Barb to make sure everyone wiped before flushing. The Motu WR combo of Breaston and TO only scored 7 total points, but that was more than made up for steller outings from Joseph Addai (32), DeAngelo Williams (27) and Dwayne Bowe (21). He didn’t even need the 25 points he left on his bench from the rejuvenated Ryan Grant.

Oh Sluts, no consistency this week. Me thinks Mama Slut is more concerned about Costco baby wipes than she is with the performance of her team. Trying to avoid an overly messy situation, she bungled this one for sure. One only need at the 15 combined points from Delhomme and Pennington – then look down at her bench where Matt Cassel put up a blazing 43 points on her bench. Need I really say more? I just have 4 letters for you, not necessarily in this order: T-O-W-C

- Scott