Week 6 - 2008 Recaps!

SF Sluts vs Gypsy Cats

This week’s version of the Toilet Bowl, with the 2-3 Floozys going up against the 1-4 Itinerant Felines. And this is one game that lived up to its billing, with the 2 teams combining for the lowest point totals of any teams this week.

The Tramps sashayed their way to victory, in part because the Larry Johnson and Marshawn Lynch bye weeks made it hard to repeat the mistake of last week, of sitting Forte and Hightower. But probably the biggest difference for the Whores between this week and last was a weaker opponent. The Wandering Lynxes continue to have the lowest point total in the league and have lost 5 games in a row.

The matchup was pretty much over by the end of Sunday, with the Slatterns leading by 37, but Braylon Edward did make it interesting, putting up a solid 27 pts. Looking ahead, that maybe the most important event of this week for both teams. If the Derek Anderson-Braylon Edward connection starts clicking again, that gives a huge shot in the arm for the Jezebels (who can finally sit Matt Cassel) and the Lost Lesser Lions (who can sit the highly unpredictable Santana Moss).

- Sei

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Nihilators Send the Nelsons to the Vet (164 - 130)

Christine's Annihilators tightened their grip on the Cripps Division with a 34 point drubbing of the Nelsons and extended their winning streak to a league best five in row. Leading the way for the gridiron gang from Silver Terrace were Philip Rivers and Peyton "In Every Commercial" Manning, who combined for 6 TDS, 577 passing yards, and 55 fantasy points. Meanwhile, Marion "Animal" Barber trampled over the Nelsons on his way to 173 all purpose yards, 1 TD, and 27 points. Not to be outdone, Roddy White recorded his third straigtht 100+ yard game and was on the receiving end of a TD, 6 first downs, and a not too shabby 23 points. The final score could have been much worse if Coach Kim had decided not to bench Maurice "I Need a Pair of Tweezers" Jones-Drew and his team leading 33 points. But somebody had to watch Nicholas and Siena . . .

On the other side of the gridiron, the Nelsons produced their third 130+ point game of the 2008 season. But unfortunately that has only netted them just one win and that was last week versus the Bobcats. Clinton "I Got the Funk" Portis had a game high 34 points, thanks to 129 rushing yards, 2 TDs, and 9 first downs. And while his teammates turned in solid performances in Week 6, it just wasn't enough to overcome the offensive onslaught of the NSCA. There's not much you can do when your opponent's defense outscores all but one of your players. And both of your QBs are older than dirt and about as mobile. As for perennial Nelson veteran Randy Moss, he clearly needs a hug from Giselle Bundchen. But then again who couldn't use a pick-me-upper from a Brazilian super model?

- Glen

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Ocean Beach Surf Riders 106 Sunnyvale Slayers 124

This was the battle of "Who Can Leave the Most Points on My Bench." Scott, the victor both in the final game tally and in the amount of points left wasting on the bench, seems to have determined his starting quarterbacks by asking, "Have you ever accepted a snap playing for the home team at Lambeau Field," leaving Matt Schaub's 24 points sitting on the bench. Over at Ocean Beach, Glen asked his running backs, "Have you ever broken a single game rushing record?" When Jamal Lewis raised his hand, the hapless coach sent him and his 20 points to the bench. He then asked his wide receivers, "Which one of you was the fourth player in NFL history to record 1000 receptions?" Marvin Harrison stood up with a concerned look on this face -- and Glen again pointed the way to the bench. T.J. Houshmandzadeh clicked his heels with delight!

- Peter Schoewe

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Steamrollers defeat Mother Tuckers (143 - 101)

Re: Troopergate - Sarah Palin didn't abuse her power and was 100% exonerated from any wrong doing. Did you also know that up is down? Right is wrong? And black is indeed white? Well evidentally this Bizarro world that Palin lives in seems to have rubbed off on this particular fantasy. Jamarcus Russell outscored Joseph Addai (granted 3-0). But still, doesn't that seem a little peculiar? Bernard Berrian (22) outscored Terrell Owens (6). Hmm, I'm sensing a pattern. That would be that Sei's team outscored Joe's team.

Joe got a nice game from Drew Brees (28) and Steve Breaston (21), but with only 4 players in double figures and not being matched up against the Bobcats, it just wasn't enough to eek out the victory. Sei's more balanced attack was highlighted by Andre Johnson (26), Berrian (22), McNabb (19), and Ronnie Brown (19). In fact, only two of Sei's starting ten scored below double digits. Did I mention that he started Jamarcus Russell at QB?

And what Bizarro world would be complete without at least my own tacit admission: I'm gay and voting for John McCain.



- Scott