Wee 12 - 2008 Recaps!

Rollers vs Nihilists

To paraphrase Nicholas Cage in Con-Air, “On any other week, scoring 142pt and losing would be strange.“

But not this week. What a display of offense by all of the MMFL, led by the Sluts 214pts and the resurgent Tuckers 177! Going in the Rollers/Nihilists matchup looked most intriguing, with the divided house angle and the combined record of 17-5. And it was the closest game, but I’m more struck by how high many of the scores were.

With both the Rollers and Nihilists having sewn up a 1st round bye, this game was important only for who did various duties in the Lee/Kim household. The first match-up between these teams led to the Rollers second loss of the season, and consigned the Rollers owner to poopie diaper duty for a week. With so much do-do riding on this game, the Rollers went to great lengths to find a winning formula against the juggernaut Nihilists. Changes for this game included picking up and starting Lance Moore and Tyler Thigpen. Trent Edwards was dropped and Donovan McNabb, Frank Gore and Lee Evans were benched.

So how did these moves work out? Overall the moves helped, but not enough. Dropping Trent Edwards and sitting Lee Evans was a mistake, with Trent scoring 4 TDs and Lee going for over 100yds this week. Sitting Donovan for Tyler Thigpen was a bold move that wasn’t easy, but paid huge dividends as Donovan had -5pts and Thigpen put up 24. Benching Frank Gore and his subsequent 3pts was clearly the right move, but Steve Slaton only came up w/9. On a side note, my once vaunted RB corps seems downright pathetic: Out of Adrian Peterson, Frank Gore, Ronnie Brown, Chris Johnson and Steve Slaton on Adrian got into double digits at 17.

On the other side, the Nihilists show once again why they are now 10-2 and atop the MMFL. Led by the dynamic duo from Hot-Lanta (Rowdy Roddy White and Michael Turner), this roster is chock full of players doing better than expected. Philip Rivers as one of the best QBs in Fantasy? Brandon Marshall and Marques Colston fighting for a WR spot because Anquan Boldin and Roddy White have been so good this year.

So, clearly the Nihilists have a great team and my guess is that if we played 100 games, they would have the best record. But we don’t, and as this week showed, on any given Thu/Sun/Mon, anything can happen.

Bonus Playoff Picture:

Byes: Nihilistas and Rollers have those spots locked up.

Who’s in: Sluts, Slayers and Nellies are in. Even if the Nellies lose and the Surf Riders win, they’ve split their season head-to-head, and the Nellies are ahead in the next tiebreak (total points scored) by 300+.

Who’s fighting: Tuckers and the Cats. Tuckers win, they’re in. If the Cats lose, the Tuckers are in. If the Tuckers lose and the Cats win, the Cats season point total is 21 ahead of the Tuckers, so the Tuckers would need to put up 21pts more than the Cats to wrest the last playoff spot away.

- Sei

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Tuckers Beat Crap Out of Surf Riders (177-90)

In the inaugural game of the MML Crapola Bowl, the OBSR were looking to snap a six game losing streak, while the JMT were looking to put together back-to-back wins after suffering their own seven game nose dive earlier in the season. Well the Surf Riders walked away from this game with yet another loss, sole possession of the cellar of the Bloods division, and probably another COTW to go with an already crowded display case. The only members of the Riders who did not start their off-season early were QBs Tony Romo and Eli Manning who combined for 581 passing yards, 6 TDs, and 53 points. Too bad the rest of team couldn't muster up another double digit scorer. While K Robbie Gould booted a couple of FGS and XPs on his way to 9 points, everyone else was headed to the tailgate party by halftime. And for the second week in a row, the OBSR bench almost amassed as many points as the starters.

Not that any of that would have mattered against the Tuckers, who took out their frustrations out on the hapless OBSR. QB Drew "My Float is Stuck" Brees and WR Terrell Owens had monster games, racking up 536 yards, 4 TDs, and 66 points between them. Not to be overshadowed, QB Ben Roethlisberger had a not too shabby 243 yard, 2 TD performance, while RB DeAngelo Williams rushed for 101 yards, 1 TD, and a 2 pointer. The Tucker's win combined with the Bobcat's loss to the Nelsons in the annual Fritos Dueling Animals bowl meant that at the very least Joe could relinquish his cozy Cripps division basement timeshare.

- Glen

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Arcadia Bobcats of Crocker Highlands at Maxwell Park 110 The Nelsons 128

This wasn't my week for fantasy football. I lost in both leagues. My bright new hope at quarterback, Brady Quinn, scored in negative territory. Usually reliable Hines Ward could only muster up 4 points. Meanwhile, Kanako's team looked just as bland. She started Brandon Jacobs, who was inactive against the Cardinals, and her tight-end was Owen Daniels, who only scored two points. That was bested by Gus Frerotte at quarterback, with 3 points. How did the Nelsons manage to beat me? The answer lies in the 37 points from Randy Moss. As you can tell, this lackluster week is resulting in a lackluster recap. Thankfully, I can put this all behind me as I prepare to enjoy Melissa's succulent turkey!

- Peter Schoewe

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Sluts 214 defeat Slayers 130

Melissa’s entire team was crazy good this week – over 320 points from all 16 players. I don’t believe she could have picked a much better line-up. The sheer magnitude of her performance makes me ignore the 2 points she got from D. Avery at WR. I don’t think I’ve ever heard of D. Avery and I’m too lazy to look up what the D stands for. Obviously the Slayers weren’t too concerned about D this week either. D wins ball games. Matt Cassel had his 2nd straight week of crazy stats, 38 fantasy points. Chad “I used to be a Slayer” Pennington added insult to injury by chipping in 34 points. Rounding out her top players, Melissa’s squad included Matt Forte (32), Marshawn Lynch (23), Steve Smith (22), Tampa Bay DST (22), and Greg Jennings (21). How could the Slayers even be competitive? With a combined 16 player total of 210, the Slayers were just outmatched and outgunned by the defending champs. It reminds me of the MMFL super bowl from last year – same outcome. The commish is one sad panda.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, I'm thankful we have such a fun group of teams!

- Scott

Week 11 - 2008 Recaps!

Rollers Get Rolled by the Gypsy Cats

Surely the bottom-feeding Itinerant Felines at 3-7 couldn’t knock off the 8-2 Steamrollers who had won 5 in a row? Of course they could, and don’t call me Shirley. The Cats rode the wave that brought victory to every team in the Cripps Division and handed the Rollers their first loss in 6weeks.

The Rollers coaching staff has definitely had better weeks.

Fantasy axiom 1: You’re not going to win when your kicker is your highest scorer. Granted 14 from a kicker is pretty good, but not having anyone else do better is weak.

Fantasy axiom 2: You’re not going to win when your bench score more points than your starters. Basically this means that a chimp could’ve done better by picking players through a process of blindfolded feces flinging. Rumor has it this method will be employed to determine next weeks lineup.

The Wandering Lynxes put up a winning but uninspired performance, managing to put up 105 points, putting them 6th out of 8 teams. Their WR corp was their strength, putting up 16, 16 and 19, but the rest of their team bordered on the awful, highlighted by McGahee’s 1pt performance. Bottom line, good enough to win.

- Sei

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Slayers def. Nelsons (137-106)

Scott's gridiron gang secured an important W with the 2008 MML regular season quickly drawing to a close. LaDainian Tomlinson didn't have an especially spectacular game, but still managed 21 points thanks to 107 all-purpose yards, 6 first downs, and a TD. A pair of Jets has LT's back, as Brett Favre displayed some of his Hall-of-Fame form with a 258 yard, 2 TD performance and Thomas Jones rushed his way to 104 yards and a TD. While WR Chad Johnson was anything but "Ocho Cinco" in Week 11, Aaron Rodgers and Reggie Wayne picked up the slack, combining for 34 points, 2 TDs, and 317 yards.

The Slayer's 137 point output was enough to put the smackdown on the pooches from Vis Valley. WR Larry Fitzgerald paced Kan's gridiron gang, hauling in 151 yards, 8 first downs, and 23 points. Meanwhile Brandon Jacobs rumbled for 73 yards and 2 TDs on his way to collecting 24 points. Unfortunately the rest of the Nelsons could not match the duo's offensive output. Perrenial Takeda draft pick WR Randy Moss could barely muster 9 points, while Laveranues Coles and Owen Daniels just plain weren't trying hard enough. As for K John Carney, having a big fat goose egg in the stat column speaks volumes to his offensive prowess. Heck, the Nelsons' starting lineup managed to outscore the bench players by a mere two points. Which basically meant that the cellar of the Bloods Division was crowded for yet another week.

- Glen

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Ocean Beach Surf Riders 78 NSC Annihilators 144

When you pour a scotch over ice, it sometimes makes a fascinating pattern of swirling golden shapes, that you can enjoy if you hold the glass close to your eye and look at it intently. If you glance your fingers across a piano's keys, you will sometimes create a cacophonous noise that, though discordant, is a pleasing sound. If you consider the game I have been tasked to recap, you will find a similar comforting pattern as you cast your eyes across the list of the Surf Rider players' scores. They rise and fall minutely, like the noise of a gamelan orchestra. 9, 8, 7, 10, 7, 9, 7, 5, 3, 13. But then you will notice something odd. Why are these numbers so low? Wait, wait, you say. Let me look at the opponent, the silver phoenix we must now call the Annihilators. Here is something strange: 23, 2, 29, 23, 24, 5, 4, 14, 13, 7. Some of the numbers seem familiar, but many are of a much greater magnitude. You will find the key to mystery when you click the tab that says "Overall standings." There you find the silver phoenix proudly strutting atop the Cripps' mountain. Where are the Surfers you ask? They are at the bottom of the Bloods, and near their name we find the saddest, most bittersweet statistic of them all. It is simply "L6."

- Peter Schoewe

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Motu’s get off the snide at the expense of the Sluts (125 – 110)

The Joe Motu skid is over. His team had been leaving behind all sorts of skidmarks over the past 5 weeks or so. This week he must have asked Barb to make sure everyone wiped before flushing. The Motu WR combo of Breaston and TO only scored 7 total points, but that was more than made up for steller outings from Joseph Addai (32), DeAngelo Williams (27) and Dwayne Bowe (21). He didn’t even need the 25 points he left on his bench from the rejuvenated Ryan Grant.

Oh Sluts, no consistency this week. Me thinks Mama Slut is more concerned about Costco baby wipes than she is with the performance of her team. Trying to avoid an overly messy situation, she bungled this one for sure. One only need at the 15 combined points from Delhomme and Pennington – then look down at her bench where Matt Cassel put up a blazing 43 points on her bench. Need I really say more? I just have 4 letters for you, not necessarily in this order: T-O-W-C

- Scott

Week 10 - 2008 Recaps!

Gypsy Cats vs Tuckers (Mothers not cars)

Strangely enough, Week 10 in MMFL seemed to go according to plan. At 7-2 each, the dominant household of the Steamrollers and 'Nihilators were expected to win and did. The Sluts had a better record than the Nelsons but given the Nellies total points, their win can hardly be called a surprise. And with the Tuckers in absolute free-fall, the Gypsy Cats win is hardly surprising. But then again, hindsight is
always 20/20.

Maybe the Oaktown lingo in the Gypsy Cats recap last week was a sign of a Black Power infusion into the Gypsy Cats, they clearly they came to play this week. Even more impressive than their 137 pts was the 122 pts on the bench. I guess that also means that the Gypsy Cats owner did a terrible job of picking starters (Jamaal Charles instead of Willis McGahee, Chester Taylor or Leon Washington?). But clearly
there is some talent on the Gypsy Cats team, and the way things are going, they may make the playoffs and make some noise.

How can a season that started so brightly, so full of promise, go so awry so quickly? As usual, there is no one answer but a series of contributing factors: Bulger, Addai, Chris Chambers, TO on bye. It's never a good sign when you have 2 players at 0 and -2. But, to paraphrase Annie Savoy, "It's a long season and you gotta adapt," by picking up players who are starting to make waves like Bo Scaife. Not sure Bo is good for the long haul, but w/Romo coming back, TO's numbers should go up, and Bulger and Ben are going to stink it up like this every week, right?

- Sei

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Nelsons romp over Sluts (110-74)

Ahhh canines versus ladies of the night. I'm sure there's a plot for a porno somewhere in there, but let's stick to football as this is a G-rated league. In a battle to see who would share the cellar of the Bloods division with the Surf Riders, the Nelsons prevailed over SF's hardest working gals. Kanako's canine corps secured the win thanks to RB Brandon Jacobs, who rushed for 126 yards and 2 TDs while making up for the big fat doughnut laid by Clinton Portis. Meanwhile, QB Kurt
Warner turned back the clock to his St. Louis Rams days and unleashed a 328 yard, 3 TD, and 28 point performance. Supporting the cause was Larry Fitzgerald and the John "I'm More Than a Kicker" Carney who each tossed in 12 points apiece.

On the other side of the gridiron, most of Mel's Sluts were too busy working the local motel to make it to the game. Carolina tandem Jake Delhomme and Steve Smith were clearly using their knee pads for other purposes. Not that the rest of Mel's gridiron gals did much better. Only RB Matt "Annunciate the E" Forte managed to show up for the game, producing 126 all-purpose yards, 7 first downs, and a TD. But despite the anemic display of offense, it wasn't the worst performance on this
Sunday. So for this week at least, Mel doesn't have to worry about where to afix a COTW badge to her "work" outfit.

- Glen

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Slayers vs. NSC

Sunnyvale Slayers 125 NSC Annihilators 182

When I was just a wee lad, my brother Matt and I walked a mile to elementary school every day. My mother reports that, on many a morning, she would look out the window and see my brother yelling for me to hurry up as we headed off down the street. That pattern has persisted into my fantasy football recap writing days. This may explain why I am releasing this final document dump from week 10 of the 2008 Montana Mile League Season at 5:30 on a Friday evening, twenty-four hours after week 11 has begun. The game I'm reviewing was a wild one. Scott answered the question, "Is it really possible to lose a game when you start Thomas Jones and, after three touchdowns and 149 yards, he contributes a massive 43 points to your tally?" You have to give him props, though, for avoiding starting anybody on his anemic, bye-ridden bench. Fourteen points, only! His bench is so weak, it would collapse if his momma sat on it. Christine continued to be the consummate overachiever, with Manning, Moore, Turner and Boldin all scoring 20 plus points. Because I'm sure Christine is already planning her Montana Bowl party, I recommend she take us all to French Laundry!

- Peter Schoewe

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Steamrollers dismantle Surf Riders, 165-72

Surf Riders complete roster scored 136 points, which would still have left them 30 points short of beating the mighty Steamrollers of Bay City. Even Trent Edwards (6) and Lee Evans (3) couldn't stop this freight train from putting up the points this week. Naturally he was outdone by his better half, as Christine's squad put up an amazing 182 points! On the other side, Glen only had 2 players in double figures
(Eli Manning-17 and Jamal Lewis-18). There was precious little he could have done . . . actually there was nothing he could have done. He was just completely out matched in week 10. Better luck next time Glen!

Adrian Peterson – 39 points. Which team was he almost traded to for Tony Romo?

McNabb and Royal both put up 26 points each. They sound like the next great comedy duo.

Sorry for my lackluster recap, but I'm pulling out the Chris Kim excuse, I have a full time job and I had to take care of 2 children! Indeed this past week I spent Friday to Wed morning in Southern California playing ps3 with my 11 and 12 year old, all the while cooking them delicious meals and taking them to birthday parties. I'm
tuckered out!

- Scott

Week 9 - 2008 Recaps!

Sluts vs Steamrollers

You know you lost your Fantasy matchup if...

1) Matt Cassel is the stronger QB
2) Your 2 RBs combine for the same points as one of the other guys' RBs
3) The 2 highest scoring players were left on the bench.
4) Your first round pick is on a bye, but you don't care because he's been benched!
5) You're playing the Steamrollers!

You know you won your Fantasy matchup if...

1) You have the highest point total of anyone that week.
2) Your Johnsons are playing bigger than their Johnson.
3) Your first round pick is on a bye, but you don't care because you have better options!
4) Your top scorer outscores their top 2 scorers.
5) You're playing the Namis.

- Sei

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Nelsons smack the crap out of the Surf Riders (145-80)

After a promising start to the 2008 season, the OBSR are in a severe tailspin, having lost four straight. The Riders basically suck at this point in the season thanks in part to injuries, the credit crisis, crappy players, falling gas prices, unemployment, and even crappier coaching. Talk about a crapper of a game. Kanako didn't even need her starting lineup for this so-called game, even though QBs Warner and Ferrote combined for 46 points, 5 TDs, and 524 yards and RB Brandon Jacobs rumbled his way to 227 yards, a TD, and 22 points. That's because Kanako's bench (93 points) alone outscored the starting lineup of the Surf Riders. An even more sobering statistic was that Nelsons starting TE Owen frickin' Daniels scored more more points than any of the OBSR. How badly must your team suck when the opposing team's TE produces more points than either of your starting RB or WR combos?!?! Hey OBSR, how about producing some points for a change, as opposed to all those damn goose eggs filling up the bench? Maybe we should release all the poultry and stick your underperforming butts in cages . . .

And to add insult to injury, the SF voters defeated Prop. K. So what the hell is Coach Moy now supposed to do on Saturday nights????????

- Glen

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NSC Annihilators 108 Arcadia Bobcats of Crocker Highlands at Maxwell Park 101

yea all haterz jus shut up, bobcatz hot and dey got talent!!!!!!! so u can shove that. voting this chump of the week 3x. damn right to ask what the deal is. I wouldnt want to set my lineups for haters that doesnt wanna hear what i have to say. NSC atcing like a SPOILED CHILD that has power over the parents, winning by seven pts. over bobcats. Being the winning team does not mean u can do whatever u want. it means doing the right thing for the league even tho is not what u want. Bobcatz did the right thing taking it easy for a week, but NSC had a bug up her ass. She tried to tell Peyton Manning he had to score all those points and I sorry if you disagree but Right On Calvin Johnson i would have done the same thing, rest of the Bobcats was not sticking up for themselves but tring to lay the blame on someone other then themselves and it is kinda funny I'll be nominated for COTW this week...lol...Bobcatz will be fine they still got Jay Cutler and Braylon Edwards so the best are still there.

- Peter Schoewe

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Slayers defeat Mother Tuckers (104-87)

Oh, my team was a COTW award waiting to happen. Not only did I have Cedric Benson (22) in my line-up on Saturday, but I switched him out on Sunday morning in favor of Kevin Faulk (13). My buffoonery also extended to my selections at wide receiver. I foolishly made some last minute wire waiver pick up’s of Devin Hester (6) and Matt Jones (10). I benched Reggie Wayne (13) and Chad Johnson (18). Mercifully, my bad coaching wasn’t enough to deter the Mother Tuckers from sucking themselves. Joe’s squad could only produce 87 points (and only 34 on his bench). Sometimes it’s just better to have a good match-up than to be a good coach.

Slayer playa’s: Thomas Jones (21), Aaron Rodgers (14), Giants D (14)

MoTu’s studs: Marc Bulger (17), Earnest Graham (14), Jags D (13)

Slayer suckage: Brett Favre (4), Ryan Longwell (4)

MoTu’s badness: Bo Scaife (3), Sean Breaston (4)

I guess this week I gotta tender my vote for Pete again. Pete is the Obama of the COTW election. Hey Pete, is Africa a continent?

- Scott