Week 3 Recap (by Glen)

(he had some "problems" logging into the blog, so I'm posting this on his behalf) -

Ocean Beach Surf Riders defeat Richmond Sluts 160 - 117
Specialists defeat Bloodthirsty Scalping Savages 137 - 55
Rolling Blackouts defeat Bay City Steam Rollers 112 - 71
Joes Mother Tuckers defeat Chicago Long-Horned Beatles 110 - 103
Rolling Rock Wild Things defeat Emerald City Chimps 103 - 74
Arcadia Bobcats defeat Mission Manhandlers 87 - 81

In the week's most lop-sided game, the delinquent Specialists managed to shrug off their league-imposed penalty and thoroughly spank their Butkus division rivals. Thanks to a mind-boggling 61 point performance from Javon Walker, the Dukester strung together back-to-back wins. There wasn't much the Savages could do in this matchup, with only Tory Holt managing to score double-digit points. Heck, Duke could have been his usual clueless self by not starting Walker and he still would have won! So the first COTW game ball goes to Kevin for not only losing to Duke, but losing badly to Duke.

In this not so exhilarating battle of ex-roommates, Pete's Bobcats managed to secure bragging rights over the Manhandlers this time around. Jamal Lewis is clearly making the most of his remaining days of freedom, generating 32 points for the owner of Casa del Schoewe. But the story behind this matchup of "titans" (and I use that term VERY loosely folks) is the 24 points riding pine for the Manhandlers in the form of Brad Johnson. While few MML observers can fault Kanako for going with franchise player Steve McNair, a bruised sternum will not get you points or wins in this league. It will however get you a COTW nomination.

If the city by the bay has been a dreary place for the Steamrollers as of late, it's also a little darker now thanks to the Blackouts. Mr. Fantasy Football Priest Holmes was anything but that this week, coming up with an anemic 13 points and ZERO TDs. One can already hear Sei working the waiver pool furiously. Blackout QB Trent Green shrugged off his two previous Disappointing Player of the Week awards to lead a balanced Lubelchek attack. But the most eye opening statistic of this game was Sei's decision to leave Brett Favre and his 40 points on the bench! Not that it would have secured the 'Rollers a Week 3 win, but still . . . benching Brett? Upsetting 6 million cheeseheads and the football gods definitely calls for a COTW game ball.

Mr. Fred's offseason regimen of beer, women, and rock-n-roll for the RRWT is clearly paying dividends as they start the 2004 campaign 3-0. Quarterback Donovan McNabb produced his third straight 25+ point game while leading the boys from Philly past the bottom dwellers of the Butkus division. One has to wonder what the hell is going on at Chimps headquarters as Commish Lee can't get production from any of his RBs. Clinton Portis and Quentin Griffin took sucking to new depths as they managed a woeful 11 points between the two of them. That's after generating a whopping 15 points the week before. The only thing this dynamic duo managed to produce in Week 3 was a COTW nomination for Scott.

The Tuckers also start the season off in fine fashion, edging out the Long-Horned Beatles by seven. Thomas Jones once again led the JMTs to victory, rattling off his third straight 20+ point game. Marc "I miss Kurt" Bulger tossed in 27 points to offset a slow day at the office for Ladainian. As for the Fighting Morans, it looks like the Sluts passed on the injury bug to the Beatles. Losing Rich Gannon, Charlie Garner, and Todd Heap to injuries is clearly not good news for the struggling 1-2 Beatles. Thankfully Duante Culpepper came up with yet another 30+ point performance. But team observers wonder out loud whether the CLHB can get by week after week on Duante's arm and Bill's charming wit. Stay tuned.

As for the OBSR, they abused the gals from the Richmond like the sluts they are. Did Moy's boys care that the Sluts were battered and bruised? Hell no! Leading the MML yet again in offensive production, the Riders were the beneficiaries of impressive performances by Peyton Manning and Reggie Wayne. Not even the Monday night heroics of Ron Gardner (39 points) could rescue the Sluts from their scheduled appointment with defeat. All Sluts' asst. coach Mac Liu could say during the postgame interview was "160 frickin points?!?!" COTW for Melissa? Ya sure ya betcha.

Player of the Week: Is there any question as to who should win this? 3 TDs, 220 yards, and 61 points?!?! It's gotta be Javon Walker even if he plays for Duke.

Disappointing Player of the Week: Hey it's not Trent Green! This dubious honor has to go to Michael Vick (Sluts). Negative one point against Arizona? Two fumbles, an interception, and zero TDs? Eli Manning would have been a better start and he was picking splinters from his ass all day Sunday.

Question of the Week: Will the check finally make its way to Scott?

GM Move of the Week: It's gotta go to Melissa for winning the Aaron Stecker sweepstakes and picking up the Falcons D, which generated 21 and 27 points respectively for the Sluts.

Well there you have it . . . Week 3. Don't forget to vote early and often for COTW.

Glen to do the Week 3 Recap

Not sure if it will be posted here (Glen's not registered yet) or on the league page. I hope he posts it here - it will look nicer.

I'll put up the COTW poll and me thinks Glen will list the "qualifications" in his recap.

I think he's shooting to have something posted by tomorrow (Wednesday).

Week 3 Picks

My guess is that there won't be enough participation every week to justify a prize, but here are my predictions anyway.

SteamRollers vs Blackouts
BayCity's been a dreary place so far this year, w/Priest Holmes being the only bright spot. And he's questionable for this week! Although the Blackouts have one of the best RB duos in Alexander and DDavis, Trent Green has been atrocious. As much as it pains me to say it,
Pick: Blackouts by 10 if Priest plays, 30 if Priest doesn't

Chimps vs 33's
The 0-2 Chimps vs the 2-0 Rocks, sounds like a gimme. But not so fast. The Eagle heavy Rocks will only go so far as the men in green and the Chimps have been plenty of talent, just look at that bench scoring! Read, chimpy has made some bad decisions. Even though I think Reche Caldwell will not pan out, I believe in the Lions D even less,
Pick: 33's by 10

Savages vs Specialists
Even without the 10 pt deduction, the Specialists are lookin' weak, but if they've (plural on purpose) made some savvy moves recently. If they get their house in order and decide to play Corey Dillon and get their entry fee in, they'd be close. But I'm not holding my breath.
Pick: Savages by 20

Surfers vs Sluts
Congratulations to the Sluts on winning the Stecker Sweepstakes. But when your starting RB's are Dominic Rhodes and Aaron Stecker, you need to get your pacifier ready because you're gonna get a spanking. Even w/Curtis on the bench, it's hard to imagine how the Sluts can cobble the points to steal this one.
Pick: Surfers by 25

Beetles vs Tuckers
Once again, the Tuckers come out of the blocks fast at 2-0. The Beetles are definitely doing better now that they've joined forces w/the Julias. Unfortunately, by the looks of it, they're still asleep at the wheel, starting Todd Heap while he's injured. Just for that the Gods of Fantasy Football will strike them down and award this game to
Pick: Tuckers by 20

Nee Schmoos, Nee Mission vs Bobkittens
The battle of the former roommates is looking more like the Toilet Bowl than the Super Bowl. Bunch of has-beens and yet-to-be-seens. Emmitt Smith vs Dwayne Carswell. The only way the Bobs pull this out is if Jamal Lewis outscores Moss by a lot. Not likely.
Pick: VisValley by 20

Week 3 Preview?

Any volunteers to write a week 3 preview? I think it would be cool if everyone put in a prediction for the week. Maybe one week we can do that and the person who gets the most right gets a $5 credit for transaction fees? Thoughts?

Week 2 Recap

Specialists (108) defeat Emerald City Chimps (88)
Rolling Rock Wild Things (90) defeat Bloodthirsty Scalping Savages (89)
Bay City Steamrollers (68) defeat Richmond Sluts (57)
Ocean Beach Surf Riders (124) defeat Rolling Blackouts (65)
Joe’s Mothertuckers (96) defeat Arcadia Bobcats (65)
Mission Manhandlers (88) defeat Chicago Long Horned Beatles (87)

The thrill of victory and the agony of defeat! Two games decided by 1 point apiece – one of which came down to the very last Eagles defensive play on Monday Night! We’ll start with those games.

With Bill’s Long Horned Beatles leading 89-88, Daunte Culpepper had no business throwing the ball at the end of regulation when his team was down by 11. Inexplicably, however, on 2nd and 11 with less than 1:11 left to play, Culpepper threw the cruelest of passes. It landed in the hands of Philly’s Ike Reese, and what was a 1 point victory turned into a 1 point defeat. Kanako 88, Bill 87. Oh cruel fate!

Mr. Fred was also able to sliver his way through a 1 point splinter. His Rolling Rock Wild Things won 90-89 over the formidable Kevin Savage. The play that cemented his victory was McNabb’s 45 yard strike to Terrell Owens right at the start of the Fourth Quarter. I don’t know if you were watching, but the replay of that catch made me think that TO was still trying to get control of that ball as he was falling out of bounds. I think that if the play was challenged, Mr. Fred might be drowning his sorrows right now with some magically fermented hops.

What can be said about Duke beating the Commish in week 2? Well, year 1 I beat him, last year we tied, so this year it seemed only right that he would emerge victorious. Duke’s Specialists had the 2nd highest point total of the week (108), and the Chimps remain deflated and winless after posting 88 points. My running back woes continue, as Quentin Griffin couldn’t replicate his week 1 success and Clinton Portis had trouble holding onto the football. To make matters worse, free agent pick-up Deshaun Foster rumbled to to 26 points on 174 yards rushing (still wouldn’t have been enough for me to win – so I’m ok with it). As of this writing, Duke still hasn’t paid his entry fee.

Glen’s Surf Riders continue their Fantasy Dominance. They have made themselves the New England Patriots of the Montana Mile League. He scores a week high of 124 points. 75% of his starting lineup scored in double figures, led by 30 points from the AGELESS Curtis Martin! The man is on fire. Will he burn out before the season ends? Can those old and tired legs withstand an entire season of bruising punishment? Only time will tell. For now, however, Glen has the right to talk as much smack as he can muster. Luckily for the rest of us he is a humble man, a man of modest means, and a man who lets his teams performance on the field do all the talking for him week in and week out. High five to Glen again.

Sei gets the weekly Winona for this week. Last week it was Bill for not starting Todd Heap, this week I give it to Sei because he won his game with a point total of 68. None of his players were truly horrific (well, Boo Williams had a 0, but that can happen at the TE position – especially when the NO running game was non-existant after the Deuce got injured) – but none were spectacular either. The Steamrollers will have to address their problems at the running back position in order to solidify a shaky roster. If anyone can do it, Sei is the person for the job.

Peter Bobcat starts the season 0-2 with a dismal 65 point performance against the lethal Mothertuckers. The defeat is all the more painful given that Kelen Winslow Jr. is out for 8 weeks with a broken fibula. Woe is Pete! Joe’s 2 headed RB monster of Thomas Jones and Ladanian Tomlinson rumbled to 39 points as his team almost cracked the century mark.

Player of the week: Curtis Martin (Ocean Beach Surf Riders) – 119 yards rushing, 2 rush td’s, 6 receptions for 25 yards = 30 points. This is back to back for Cujo and Moi.

Disappointing Player of the week: Trent Green (Rolling Blackouts) – 187 yards passing, 1 INT, 0 TD, 15 yards rushing, 1 fumble lost = 0 points. This is back to back for Trent and Ron – except this week Ron lost the game. Not good for a first round pick to have a total of 2 points over 2 weeks.

Benched Player of the week: Deshaun Foster (Emerald City Chimps) – 174 yards rushing, 1 rush TD = 26 points. This is back to back for Commish Lee. No love from the RB stable of the Chimps. Maybe it’s time I traded some of these studs?

Biggest Injury of the week: Deuce McCallister (Richmond Sluts) – “An MRI revealed a partial tear of the tibio-fibular ligament, which is the ligament on the top of the ankle where the shin bone connects to the ankle joint. He is out four to fix weeks.” OUCH. This is back to back for Melissa. Deuce joins Steve Smith on the injured list. Tough love man.

Lowlight of the week: I refuse to add insult to injury. So while Melissa’s team could only score 57 points this week, the lowlight has got to be any team that loses to Duke. The Chimps are the lowlight of the week. They have the 6th highest points scored (171) but no victories to show for it. Those match-ups are killing the Chimps! To quote Charlton Heston, “Damn it all, damn it all to HELL!!!!” Chimps also have the most points against at 211.

Nominees for COTW this week:
Scott – For losing to Duke
Kevin – Lost by 1 point, benched Koren Robinson (13 points) in favor of Peerless Price (2 points).
Bill – For losing on the last minute INT (meaningless) by Culpepper
Melissa – low score of 57 points
Pete – 65 points and no wins to show for all his bravado
Ron – He almost got doubled up by those magnificent surf riders (124-65)

Here’s hoping for more drama in week 3! Comment away….

Bold Predictions?

Does anyone care to predict the outcome of our week 2 matches?

Rolling Rock Wild Things at Bloodthirsty Scalping Savages
The Specialists at Emerald City Chimps
Richmond Sluts at Bay City Steamrollers
Rolling Blackouts at Ocean Beach Surf Riders
Joe's Mother Tuckers at Arcadia Bobcats
Mission Manhandlers at Chicago Long-Horned Beatles

Come on peanut gallery, let's get this blog party started!

I get the Duke-ster this week. I gotta put on my game face. I really like the match-ups this week across the board - every game has drama.

Week 1 Recap

Bloodthirsty Scalping Savages (103) defeat Emerald City Chimps (83)
Rolling Rock Wild Things (117) defeat the Specialists (62)
Ocean Beach Surf Riders (135) defeat Bay City Steamrollers (70)
Rolling Blackouts (101) defeat Richmond Sluts (55)
Chicago Long-Horned Beatles (102) defeat Arcadia Bobcats (83)
Joe’s Mothertuckers (91) defeat Mission Manhandlers (42)

What can be said that hasn’t been said before? Duke lost. Not a shocker. Commish lost; also no surprise. Mr. Fred won in convicing fashion à Now that’s some Fantasy news right there! Bill’s team won. Wait, am I dreaming? Is this a Fantasy or a Nightmare? Kanako almost got doubled up by Joe. Now I know she’s eating for two, so does that mean only half her brain is playing football? Say it ain’t so! Sei lost, but I’m sure he’ll bounce back in usual Sei fashion, utilizing a dazzling array of free agent pick-ups to bolster his Fantasy hubris. Melissa was defeated handily by Ron – perhaps her lack of Commish-assisted-draft has finally caught up to her. Defending champ Glen had the highest point total of the week with 135. Who would’ve thought that 90 year old Curtis Martin could “run” for 196 yards and that Marshall “Disappointing for the Chimps” Faulk would look so spry on route to 128 rushing yards? It had to be the Moi. But could Moi have also been the reason for Vinny throwing for 355 yards? Do his powers really extend that far? Vinny is on Bill’s team, and Bill started Billy Miller at TE instead of Todd Heap and he still won – I think someone has been smoking their own crack, and it’s working.

Two words for the old commish: Quentin Griffin. Do I dare bench Rudi Rudi Rudi for the 5’7” wonder in Denver?

Player of the week: Curtis Martin (Ocean Beach Surf Riders) – 196 yards rushing, 1 rushing td, 3 receptions for 7 yards, 1 receiving TD = 40 points.

Disappointing player of the week: Trent Green (Rolling Blackouts) – 174 passing yards, 0 td’s, 1 int = 2 points. Luckily this didn’t hurt Ron. He had a fine stable of studs to make up the difference (Shawn Alexander – 34, Dominic Davis – 20, Deion Branch – 15, Antonio Gates – 16)

Benched player of the week: Quentin Griffin (EC Chimps - does the old commish dare bench Rudi Rudi Rudi for QG?) – 156 yards rushing, 2 rushing td’s, 1 reception for 1 yard, 1 receiving td = 34 points

Biggest injury of the week: Steve Smith (Richmond Sluts) – Broken leg – out for at least 8 weeks and probably more! Oh the agony. He looked pretty good with 6 catches for 60 yards (9 points) – but that injury was some brutal stuff.

Lowlight of the week: Mission Manhandlers score 42 points in game 1. 17 of those points came from Randy Moss. QB’s plus RB’s scored a grand total of 11 points. The Panthers Defense looked horrible against the Packers and yielded Kanako –1 point! Who would’ve thunk it? Me thinks that Eddie George at running back ain’t going to get the job done this season.

Nominees for COTW this week:
Kanako – for scoring 42 points
Melissa – 55 points, only one player in double figures (Isaac Bruce had 22)
Scott – for watching Quentin Griffin on Sunday and clenching his fists in utter despair!
Duke – he lost, he’s Duke, he has to be nominated
Sei – of his 70 points, Priest Holmes had over half of them (36)

I am going to spare Pete a nomination this week since Monday was his birthday. Otherwise I think this year all COTW nominees will be the losers from that week.

Sorry this recap is so brief, but I’m tired. Perhaps others will post their own recaps or we’ll get some witty repartee going on in the comments section.

A Minor Change

(and I don't mean Travis Minor).

I have enabled "comments" for anyone viewing this blog. Now you don't have to register in order to post comments - but you will need to accept the invite I have sent to the Franchise Owners in order to post bulletin board messages.

Football!